


Would You Join Me?

by XarluLunete



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Also known as the AU that only hurts people, CleAo Drama CD Bad End AU, Grief/Mourning, I'm so sorry I keep killing people, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Pacts, Will add tags as the story continues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 23:26:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3429380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XarluLunete/pseuds/XarluLunete
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“That’s why, Aoba-san, if I wished for it in the end, would you join me in eternal slumber?”</p><p>“…Yeah. If you… wish for that.”</p><p>“Aoba-san…”</p><p>“Whether I died first or whether you stopped moving, it’d be painful for whoever’s left behind. That fact wouldn’t change. That’s why I want to treasure the time we have together more than anything. But… when we die, it’s alright if we go together. If that’s what you want… that means it’s something you genuinely desire, right? If it’s what you want of your own free will, then I’m glad. It feels strange to say this, but… even if I leave you behind and die… if we can end our time together… that’s not a bad thing. So it’s fine. Let’s rest… together.”</p><p>-an excerpt from disk 2 track 5 of DRAMAtical Murder Drama CD Vol. 2 ClearxAoba, translation provided by tumblr user shibaface</p>
            </blockquote>





	Would You Join Me?

**Author's Note:**

> This story acts as bad end to Clear’s drama CD, if his transfer into an Alpha body were to fail. Understand that with my using that excerpt for my summary, I am by no means trying to take it out of context (seeing as Clear had asked Aoba this as a hypothetical question of sorts in order to make up his mind). Aoba had answered Clear truthfully and I feel that, if something were to happen to Clear during the transfer causing him not to make it, Aoba would follow through and end his life as well.
> 
> This story, I'm sure, as well as it even being mentioned in the drama CD, heavily romanticizes suicide in every single way shape and form, but I by no means condone it. If someone were to do that, it is their choice, yes, but I personally don't see that as something that is... not necessarily 'right' but the best idea.
> 
> Also made because apparently I enjoy making people cry. Including myself. Q-Q

"Don't worry, Aoba-san. Both Tae-san and her friend will make sure nothing happens during the transfer."  
  
These words have been swimming in my head for the past two hours since I parted ways with Clear and Granny. I... I've been nervous, to say the least, though I'm sure that anybody would say that that's the understatement of the century. I lost Clear once, of course I'm nervous when it comes to a situation where I could lose him again. Both Clear and Granny had to nearly force me to go to work, Granny stating that I needed to go in order to keep myself occupied and Clear trying to comfort me so I wasn't so anxious.  
  
It's funny, how calm he was about it all in comparison to me, though really I know it was Clear pulling a brave face. His resolve to go through with the transfer is strong, but he's nervous, no doubt.  
  
But nevertheless, here I am. Granny told me that once the transfer was finished and a few tests were run on Clear in the Alpha body that she would call me, so I'm working until I receive that call. It's all unusually quiet today though. We've hardly gotten any customers or calls and neither do I have my hands full with the brat trio.  
  
Hell, at this point in time, I'd welcome them to do whatever so long as they didn't break anything or upset Haga-san in order to get my mind off of all of this.  
  
I straighten a few boxes on the shelf behind me that didn't really even need to be touched and, when I'm satisfied with that, sit back back down with a sigh. I'm slowly running out of things to do. I would bring Ren out and talk with him some, but Haga-san doesn't really like Allmates to be used when someone's on the clock unless the Allmate can help around the shop like Boujin-kun can, so I keep myself from doing that and start fiddling with my coil. Maybe I could call someone to talk to, Koujaku or perhaps Mizuki.  
  
Seeing as Clear had started at Black Needle, Clear had explained to him as to why he was going to be missing work for a couple of days. Mizuki just shrugged it off saying it wasn't a big deal and told me to let him know how everything with Clear worked out. I tap on his name, ready to call, but stop. He's probably working right now, I shouldn't call and risk interrupting something.  
  
I back out of my phonebook and mess with my coil settings instead. Maybe I should change my ringtone? I like the one I have right now, but even though it's an 8-bit version of one of my favorite songs it's starting to get a little old.  
  
The bell that's over the front door of the shop makes me look up from my coil, ready to switch to my usual customer service mode, but stop myself from greeting them in shock when I see who it is.  
  
"Granny, what are you doing here? I thought you were going to call."  
  
Granny's arms are folded behind her back in her usual manner, but immediately I know something's off. Her eyes, normally bright with her vim and vigor despite her old age, are downcast and dim, making her look her age entirely and then some.  
  
She doesn't say anything and yet I know exactly what she's going to say.  
  
It twists my stomach into knots and I can almost taste the bile in my throat.  
  
"Clear didn't survive the transfer, Aoba. We took every precaution, and made sure that nothing could go wrong, but the Alpha body wound up rejecting him."  
  
I take small breaths as Granny relays the news to me, not once meeting her gaze.  
  
"I... I thought there was only a slim chance of that happening though. How did the body just reject him? Weren't Clear's body and the Alpha's bodies almost exactly alike?" My mind is spinning as I take in the shock.  
  
Granny nods. "There are some small changes between the series Clear was from and the series the Alphas were from, but nothing too detrimental, but... I think that what of Clear we tried to insert into the Alpha body was just too outdated. If I remember correctly, Clear was one of the first few created in the R-2E series after the prototype was tested and approved.  
  
"We were able to transfer him just fine, he woke up like normal. When we were testing him, however, he just... Fell. There were no warnings, Clear hadn't said anything about feeling strange. One minute he was fine, the next he collapsed to the floor, gone."  
  
"I... See." is all the response that I can muster up.  
  
Clear's gone. I've lost him yet again.  
  
The worst part is that now, there's no way to bring him back. He was lost at the hands of the people that brought him back the first time, that created him in the first place, there's no going back from that.  
  
This was supposed to be the safer option, as opposed to keeping him in his old body.  
  
I want to feel angry, something, _anything_ aside from this... Gape. It _hurts_. Dwelling on it, I poorly stifle a sob.  
  
Granny shuffles over and touches my arm, which only serves to break me down even further.  
  
I want to see him. Just. For one last time. I attempt to relay my wish to Granny, but it comes out in a harsh whisper, broken and wracked with sobs and hiccups. On normal circumstances, I'd be berating myself for letting myself break like this, in a public space like Heibon no less, but my grief has removed my will to care about what scene I may make. Granny moves closer to me, in an attempt to let me try speaking more clearer.  
  
"I want- see him." Another sob breaks up the middle of my sentence and my voice sounds like I have a bubble in my throat, but the message seems to make it's way to her. She straightens up and sighs.  
  
"Are you entirely sure that you want- that you're _okay_ to do that, Aoba?" she asks and I understand her hesitance. I'm sure it's not as if he's broken down (my mind flickers to the first time he died, his skin chipping, tattered, and peeling like an old coat of paint on a wall; I ignore the particularly hard squeeze my heart and the urge to relapse that it gives me), but just seeing him again, it could be bad for me.  
  
I nod. "Yes. Please. One last time." I have to pause in between words to make my voice sound clear without the bubble.  
  
As if on cue, Haga-san appears from the back. "Ah, Tae-san! It's good to have you here-" His attention turns from Granny to me and his eyebrows furrow in concern. "Aoba-kun, are you alright? You're crying."  
  
I sniff hopelessly and wipe at my eyes with my jacket sleeve, feeling like a kid while doing so. Granny moves away from me to face Haga-san.  
  
"I'm afraid that we've just experienced a death in our family. Aoba is rather shaken by it all and he had just asked me if he could go see him for the last time." I can't help but to cry more as she speaks, not particularly over what she's speaking about, but more so how she speaks of it, referring to Clear as a family member. She had never made any secret about it; she's told Clear himself as much, but regardless I'm moved by it, I guess.  
  
Without even mentioning a name, Haga-san's eyebrows lift in what seems to be recognition of who Granny's speaking of. "Ah, I see. I'm terribly sorry for your loss, both of you. Aoba-kun," I stand up from the chair. "feel free to take all the time you need to grieve. You both need to be there for each other in this time of mourning."  
  
I pick up my bag from the floor and bow. "Thank you."  
  
"It's no problem. As I said, take all of the time you feel necessary."  
  
"Do you want to go straight away or would you prefer going to the house for a bit before seeing Clear?" Granny asks me as we exit Heibon. She knows my answer, I'm sure.  
  
"I would like to see him right now, but it'd be best for us to wait, right?"  
  
"It would be best to let your emotions calm some. You don't need to see him while you're like this. He wouldn't want that." She confirms. If she's surprised that I didn't demand to see him immediately, it doesn't show.  
  
As we walk, I pull Ren from my bag to relay the news to him as well.  
  
He starts up, immediately getting concerned when he sees my face and the readings on my heart rate and whatnot pull up.  
  
 _「Aoba, what's wrong?」_  
  
"Clear didn't survive, Ren. The- his body malfunctioned shortly after he woke up. He was rejected."  
  
Ren processes it, his ears flattening against his head as he does. _「I'm sorry.」_

I smile a little and press my forehead against his.  
  
"He's asleep now, so it's fine."  
  
He's asleep... Clear had always put it like that whenever he talked about his grandfather. He went to sleep, and now Clear is as well. Ren licks my cheek, pulling me out of my thoughts.  
  
"Wha-"  
  
 _「You were crying again.」_  
  
I laugh a little and cradle him in my arms. "I was just over-thinking things again, you know me."  
  
...Asleep, huh.  
  
 _'That's why, Aoba-san, if I wished for it in the end, would you join me in eternal slumber?'_  
  
Yeah.  
  
 _'...If you... wish for that.'_  
  
I clutch Ren tighter.

It doesn't sound that bad.  
  
 _'Let's rest...'_  
  
Together.


End file.
